This Big Deep Place Where We Reside

{Construction of a Nebula via Elisemahanfineart}

Back from vacation and up to our elbows in work. It feels wonderful and scary at the same time, but I am so happy we took a few days to rest and visit with good friends and get rejuvenated for work. I miss being surrounded by babies and the sound of the waves breaking and drinking cranberry sprite and not wearing shoes for 4 days. I did really, REALLY miss my dogs, in a ridiculous way, so it's good to be home. However, Doug's family came for impromptu visit for the weekend which makes working the kind of hours I am used to impossible. It's good to have family here though. 

{via Chraisia}

It has kind of been a whirlwind kind of week. The etsy feature was a dream come true and almost impossible to keep a secret. Thank you all for all of you support and kind words. It meant the world to us. Our business wouldn't exist if not for the blogging community and for that, we are eternally grateful. We get to do what we love, and pay the bills, and support a charity and live the life we always dreamed of. It's amazing. I feel blesses and lucky and happy. I thank my lucky stars, every single day.

{via Girl and Parrot}

{via GracieChai}

It's easy to get overwhelmed, so I'm making sure that this summer is all about being pleasant, even when we're running a few days behind schedule, take deep breaths, pilates and archery (the only two forms of exercise I like, besides bike riding and hiking, which I will only tolerate if it isn't humid...) hugs and kisses and lots of I love yous to the one who makes my world a better place, phone calls to my Dad, splurging on new shoes and summer dresses and NOT feeling guilty about it. I want to have the strength to complete everything I say I will, take on more than I think is possible and still get it done, keep our house clean and get enough sleep. I want to take long drives, stay in hotels and visit friends way more often. I need to make a 27 things I need to do the summer before I turn 27 list, maybe I'll climb into bed and work on that tonight. I can't use power tools, everyone is asleep, so there isn't much work I can do until the morning. I know this blog post is disjointed, but I felt a need to play catch up. It's been such a crazy week, and will keep being crazy for the next few months! 

{via cabindreams}

I feel so disconnected, so please tell me what's happening in your lives! I hope life is really good for each and every one of you. I really, truly do. And I promise to come around these parts more now that we're back.

xo,

Beca

Battling Guilt and Other Good Reads

I have what I like to call Small Business Guilt. It means that I have a really, really hard time taking time off. An hour here or there I can do, a healthy 5 hours of sleep a night, I can do. Going to the movies, or the grocery store, sometimes but I still get anxious. Now, taking a full on vacation, that makes my chest feel like it is going to cave in. But, since our summer is completely and totally shot, it's now or never for us to take 4 days off work. We're going to Frisco, North Carolina to sleep with ponies on the beach with some of Doug's very best friends and their families. 

I haven't always been like this. Before I owned my own business, I took time off all the time. Probably too much, because let's be real here, I hate working 9-5, or in my case it was 4am-2pm. I hate clocking in, and feeling like my whole day is blown because I have to work late or whatever. I didn't care about requesting a week off for a road trip, or a stay-cation in my house eating pizza, sleeping in and reading on the porch until my eyes hurt. I guess because it was always just "a job" but now it's more than that. We love what we do, and it's really difficult to take time off. BUT, we just finished up a pretty hefty wholesale order for our Japanese distributor that will be on its way tomorrow, and for the most part are caught up on orders in our Etsy shop. I have about 15 more sunglasses to ship out on Friday, and then there is no turning back. I have three bathing suits I plan on living in, blog posts scheduled, a dog/house sitter who hilariously responded to my inquiry about what food I can buy her, that she only eats "lobster, caviar and smart water," a new camera, my watercolors and these four books I plan on starting and finishing during our trip.

Do you feel small biz owners guilt for taking time off? How do you counter it? Any tips on battling the guilt?

I picked up all of these used, but I will leave links to each book, in case you want to join along in my reading adventure and also forego responsibility for a few days. The first book I got is The Way the Crow Flies by Anne Marie MacDonald. I love books told from a kids perspective, and books set in the 50s, 60s or 70s. That time frame seems to be kind of magical. This book has both, so I'm sure I'll love it.

The next is The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea by Yukio Mishima. A band of savage thirteen year old boys in post world war 2 Japan. That's all I have to say to know it's good. 

The next is a collection of short stories. I am pretty on the fence when it comes to shorts, because they are either really good, or really terrible, and I can't say I like them more when they're good because then they end. I, like most of the world, hates when a good thing ends. The Vintage Book of Contemporary Short stories seems like a really pretentious title, but I'm going with it because I like the cover. Also, I may have already read this, we'll soon find out. 

I do that often, by the way. Read a book I have already read, and sometimes I don't remember I've read it until the end. I told you, my brain is fried. Damn you, early twenties. And lastly, Little Bee by Chris Cleave. I guess after reading more reviews, it's slightly political, which I didn't get from the back sleeve or the cover. I am going to be open to it, and see where it goes, but it seems mysterious and the reviews call it brutal. Yikes!

I have a mountain of a to-do list but I feel achy and stressed, so I thought I would sit and share my beach books with you. Have you read any good books lately? I'd love to know!

xo,

Beca

Dont forget to enter the giveaway for a custom pet protrait by Danielle of Girl and Parrot! Only two days left!

Chattanooga Lookouts Game

Sunday evening we took 2 hours off work to go support the Chattanooga Lookouts with, our local minor league baseball team. They didn't do so great, but we had a blast and it was fun getting out of the house for a bit.

Do yall ever go to baseball games? What's your favorite part? I like the pretzels and the sunshine! I could live without the baseball, but it was fun rooting on our team! Happy Monday!

xo,

Beca

Sluggo's North with Rae and Travis

Today has been pretty rad so far and I am taking advantage of Doug taking an early evening nap to actually sit down and stop moving. We woke up pretty early, grabbed some coffee and headed south east into Georgia for some serious estate sale shopping. We haven't been junking as much as normal, for no reason in particular, except that it's been go-go-go work-work-work lifestyle lately. However, we made a really solid work plan for the next few weeks, and before we go strong, we thought we would take a day to ourselves and actually leave the house. We visited some awesome estate sales, spent too much money, drove all over Chattanooga and northern Georgia, and all before Lunch. Around lunch time, we hit it back to the city and met up with our pals Rae and Travis at Sluggo's North for lunch.

Sweet baby Jesus, it was good. We were starving, and had planned on getting a burger on the way, but we're late, as usual, so we just hauled ass to get there and eat. The food was incredible, the customer service was incredible. Ashley, one of the owners, had to have been the nicest he could possibly be! Funny story, when Doug was a teenager, he used to go to punk rock shows at Sluggo's in Pensacola. It was a venue, and the owners moved up to Chattanooga and opened up another venue with a 100% vegan cafe. 

I got the lentil burger (I think, or mushroom) patty melt. Whatever it was made of, it was delicious. There is a lot of mustard on it, which I should have known, so next time I'll ask for no mustard, but even that didn't stop picky little me from eating every single bite. And a giant salad was perfect for this semi-hot, windy day in Tennessee. Doug got the BBQ Sub, Rae and Travis both got the Club. I don't know why, but I keep wanting to say that everyone got a BLT. Not true. Subs and clubs. Doug also got the sweet potato mash, and I think I ate half of that too.

And, because it seemed only appropriate, we all got dessert. Coconut cream pie! Coconut cream pie that I can eat!! Coconut cream pie with no milk in it! It was top notch. I ate every single bite of that too. No doubt. And not to mention that our lunch was amazing, we had some pretty awesome lunch dates to share it with. I can be super awkward in real life. Especially because I know all of you think i am hilariously awesome, so I have a lot to live up to (joking.....) But meeting Rae was really rad and maybe it's the southern in them, but there wasn't a single weird quiet moment the entire time. 

Oh snap, did I mention that they have the cutest freaking pugs ever!?!? I have only ever had bad experiences with pugs. Either they are mean, or maybe they could just smell monster the pug hater on me, but these two sweet ladies were too die for sweet.

After lunch, Doug gave Travis a tour of the van, and we attempted to introduce our dogs. I haven't been leaving Ollie at home because of his eye infection, so he just goes everywhere with us, and Charlie the lump tags along too. Ollie, of course, the oaf that he is scared the bujesus out of little Priscilla so he had to go back into the van to sit in the drivers seat and sulk. Charlie, the grumpiest dog alive tried to act tough, but really he just wanted to be cuddled. Here;s proof of our awesome dog-momness.

I like meeting other extreme dog owners. I feel less crazy. Really. Y'all are awesome. On the way home, Doug told Ollie "We're the only parents you'll ever have, so you better stop acting like a butthole so we don't disown you." I laughed until I cried. Did I mention Ollie is being the worst dog ever right now. I don't know what his deal is. I think he has too much energy or something since he doesnt have a big yard to run around in, but he isn't listening, he growled/snapped at Doug last night when they were playing, and has been acting generally like a disgruntled teenager. Life of a dog mom...haha.  

Anyways, I'm going to wake Doug up so we can go meet up with some friends to get dinner. Busy day off. Then back to work tonight. 

How was your weekend so far? Did you do anything totally awesome? Tell me about it!

xo,

Beca 

Life Lately

Life around here has been a little busy lately, but while Doug is skateboarding, I thought I would take a minute to tell you a little about what's been happening in our life. We are up to our elbows in orders, from both our etsy shop and wholesale, which is keeping us eternally busy and grateful. We also have something like 60 pairs of sunglasses heading to Japan to various shop within the next few weeks, which makes me pretty excited!

Ollie has an eye infection that is worrying me so much, but he's on medication now and hopefully it gets better soon! In the realm of pet drama, our beta Willy Jack died this morning. We've had him since San Diego, and we're pretty bummed out about it. We recently rescued a Alligator snapping turtle and he's doing just fine.

We are so happy in Chattanooga, although we certainly miss Steinhatchee. We went back for Easter and it felt so good to visit, drive around the woods, shoot guns, go thrifting with the family, and eat way too much food! I cried when we left, but I know that we are supposed to be in Tennessee right now. I don't know how long we'll be here, but I am happy we're settled and making home here. Our house is old, built in the 1920s and is on the side of the mountain. It's rickety and crooked and awesome. I haven't had a bad night sleep since we got here. I guess there is something about being in the mountains.

Our backyard is crazy, about 125 feet of mountain woods. We climb up there and explore often, and have found a load of treasures. At the top of our property, there is an old homestead and just the foundation is left. We want to take the metal detector up there soon! There are also all kinds of critters in our yard, tons of birds, squirrels, and other little guys who we haven't met yet.

So, that's a few peeks at our house and what's happening in our life right now. What's happening in yours?

xo,

Beca

Friendships and Other Battles of the Heart

I know I am not alone in this quest of mid-20s friendship, but I have been feeling weighted by its importance in the last few months. To preface, I don't know how to explain how I am with friendships. I am shy. An awkward shy that is hidden by my tendency to talk to much about nothing, stutter and constantly adjust my hair/glasses/boots/purse. It doesn't help that I am incredibly insecure. That doesn't make friendships easy. Nor does moving to a new place, where I work at home, and could not leave the house in a week except to go to the post office and not notice.

I don't have a lot of experience with friendships. I had a relatively sheltered childhood of being the perpetual only child-loner-book worm, met trauma at a young age, entered adulthood pretty late, and jumped right into the social cesspool of after-college HOW THE HELL DO I MAKE FRIENDS IN THIS BIG GIANT WORLD stage. I tried the party-friend-path. I tried the work-friends-road. I tried the roommates-so-we-must-be-friends route. I have had failure with all of them. Am I too judgmental? {sometimes} Am I annoying? {probably} Am I too honest, or say whats on my mind too much? {absolutely} Do I get too comfortable? {maybe} Am I just a weirdo? {yes}

I spent a long time wondering if I was just a crappy friend-roommate-boss {note to self: don't ever try to be best friends with your employees/co-workers while y'all work together, it's oil and water.} And I went through a phase where I surrounded myself with people who I didn't necessarily get along with because I just wanted that companionship. I'm too transparent for that and I'm sure I have hurt feelings and burned bridges...I'm sorry for that. But then, I met Doug. My very best friend in the entire universe. The person who I have to, want nothing more than, no question about it, will spend the rest of my life with. Not to be a big cheese ball, but my soul mate. Doug, unlike me, has lots of friends. He is social and friendly and easy to get along with. So, of course, I made a huge effort to befriend his friends. Some I clicked with perfectly and still consider some of my closest friends. Others, well, they made me question myself again. Am I that crappy of a person that they can't stand me. They want nothing to do with me? Or wait, news flash, we don't have to be best friends. I have realized in the past few months that I shouldn't have to TRY to be someones friend. I shouldn't have to be anything other than my big, beautiful self. Full glory. Not really, I mean some discretion is appreciated. But I am going to be 27 in just a few short months. I refuse to walk on egg shells. I refuse to be silent and made to feel excluded or out of place. No matter how much I want friends, I don't deserve that.

BUT, I am not innocent. I have no filter. If you know me in real life, I will say just about anything that comes to mind, and not realize that it could be hurtful. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I can't pretend to be stoked if I'm not. I can't fake it. I just can't. And my insecurities can turn me into a total brat. And there in lies the problem. As a grown up, I should know how to do this. I shouldn't be all willy nilly with my thoughts and words. So since we moved to Chattanooga, I have made a few vows to myself when it comes to friendships. I want to make friends. I want to go on coffee dates and go thrifting and go on bike rides. I want someone to talk to face to face about nothing and everything. Girlfriend stuff.

I will make a conscious effort to not be an awkward mess when we go out. I wont hide in Doug's shadow and I will be open to meeting new people. I will not be judgmental. I will not always say exactly what I am thinking, because to be quite frank, it just isn't necessary. I will be kind, I will be true to myself, and I will be the best friend I know how to be. I have nightmares about a few unfortunate events that took place in the past few years that burned down bridges bigger than the golden gate. I beat myself up. I want to say I'm sorry. I want to be told "I'm sorry too." But since forced friendships that have been broken have no real chance of repair, since words that were said can't be taken back, and since I'm making one hell of an effort to learn from it, the future is bright and clear.

Moving to a new state, where I don't know a soul, has been scary. But in a good way. We work at home, don't have any clear schedule. Doug has skateboarding, which is kind of like instant friend magic. And I have blogging. Oh Lord, I love blogging if only for the amazing friendships that I have cultivated. Blogging has taught me that the friends I need in my life are out there and they exist. Too bad we don't live next door to each other, but thank you for being in my life.

I can only hope that I make friends here that I mesh with. I hope that I can be brave. I plan on being generous with my friendships this year and in this place. How do you make friends? Have you had trouble maintaining friendships? Any tips or advice for a super awkward blogger in the world of making and maintain new friendships? This topic has been ablaze in my heart for a while and I would love to hear how you feel.

xo,

Beca

ps. I just wanted to share that recently, I texted an old friend {who I had a falling out with} while Doug and I were driving through New Orleans, where she moved to. I told her I missed her and I was sorry for everything that caused us to stop being friends and that I loved the shit out of her. It felt so good, that I didn't even need for her to write back. But she did and it made my whole year. If you're missing an old friend, maybe that's the secret to filling that little hole in your heart. I suggest it, big time!

Impromptu Picnic

Yesterday afternoon, Doug and I put down everything, packed up the van with a basket, fishing pole and rifle, a blanket and a book and took off into the woods for an impromptu adventure.

We drove all the way down to the end of the road to nowhere and shot quarters for a little while. It was foggy and quiet out, and the wind was incredible. I felt like I was going to get blown over!

I needed this get-away so bad! We both did. We have been so stressed out and totally taking out on each other. NOT FAIR! Most of our stress has been due to a really slow month of February, getting ready to move again, keeping up with orders, keeping the house clean, the dogs not having a fence, finances, etc, etc, etc. You know the deal. Most of all, we have had a hard time getting motivated every day. We love what we do, so much, but sometimes it feels like a factory and not like art. So, we get frustrated, and since it's just us, two people, we want to scratch each other's eyeballs out. That's the truth behind owning a business with your significant other. It's not always sunshine and rainbows. BUT yesterday we followed one of our very important rules. When it gets stressful and you want to kill each other, get the hell out of the house and do something awesome.

There is nothing better to relieve stress than shooting stuff. We had a blast shooting quarters with Doug's rifle. He's an incredible shooter, but I'm not so bad myself. I like living in a small town (read village) where we don't really have neighbors, because I sit in the front yard with a fire going and shoot the old sign across the road with my BB gun or shoot the bow and arrow down the street to a makeshift target.

When Doug got his fishing pole out, I got my book out and some snacks we grabbed at the corner store. Nothing fancy, you can't get anything fancy in this town, but some chips, grapes, macaroni salad, cheese and deli meat. I recently bought this book at a thrift store. I read it years ago, but wanted to read it again. It's an incredible book. The only thing that bugs me is that all of Owen Meanies dialogue is in ALL CAPS and it kind of drives me crazy. But, it's a good book.

Doug has been tying his own flys, and wanted to mess around with them yesterday. He didn't really expect to catch any fish, he just wanted to see how they fared, but low and behold, an ugly fish found the hook and took a big old bite. We threw him back of course, but look how ugly he is!!

While we were driving back to the house, we caught a glimpse of a deer on the side of the road. We thought she would just dart into the woods, but instead she revved her engines and started hauling ass next to us. If we slowed down, she slowed down, if we sped up, she sped up, it was incredible. It's one of the amazing things living out in the woods, the wildlife is abundant and since deer hunting season is over, they seem to be a little more visible. It's funny, I thought a running deer would be graceful and pretty, but she ran like a bat out of Haiti and face planted into a ditch. I felt so sad, but she hopped back up and darted across the street behind up into the woods. What a goober!

I am so glad we took the time to go out and leave the cell phones and work stress at home. It's totally necessary and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. What kind of adventures do you take to get away? Does it help your stress?

I am about to make a big dent in packing before I get to work today. Our power was out this morning from the wind, so I was able to start deep cleaning. Can you believe we get the keys to our place in Tennessee a week from today. I am not sure I'm ready!

xo,

Beca

The End of the Road to Nowhere

We live in Dixie County, Florida. And one thing Dixie County is known for is drug smuggling in the 60s and 70s. The Road to Nowhere is a paved, yes you heard me say it, paved road that goes to absolutely nowhere. It just ends. It goes across the bridge where we crab to endless salt flats and marshes. Rumor has it the roads were paved in the seventies so that smugglers had a road to bring drugs into the county.

Nowadays the road is used for hunting, crabbing, shooting and drag racing...and adventuring!! We drove down to the end the other day with our .22 to go shooting and romping in the muck. It's so quiet out on the flats; eerie. We set up some broken beer bottles and other little targets to shoot at. We weren't the firsts as there were shotgun shells and casings scattered at our feet.

The air out on the flats is different than anywhere else in the swamp. It's open and empty. Every time the tall grass rustles you never know what it could be. We saw a bobcat this time. Only for a flash.

Out here, where we don't have a movie theater, or a shopping mall, you find that the world gives you just about a million ways to entertain yourself. What do you do when your away from town, or an escape from your city life?

xo,

Beca