A Perpetual Movement in the Right Direction

(Painting via HelloEarth.)

I fell back asleep this morning after Doug left for work this morning. Only for an hour. I'm so tired from working as much as I have been and will be, so a little nap was something I needed. It actually didn't help at all, it woke me up with a headache. I dreamed that I was late to everything, and that every clock in our house was wrong, and I suffered all of the irreconcilably consequences due to my tardiness. I looked it up, even though I was pretty sure of what it meant.

"To dream that you are late, signifies your fear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. Additionally, you may be overwhelmed or conflicted with decisions about your future. Time is running out and you no longer have time to accomplish all the things you want. Alternatively, being late in your dream could be telling you that it is better late than never"

Derr. I have a lot of changes happening around me. I have the next week to prove myself to my bosses so that this "temporary" promotion becomes long term temporary (until August at least) and I can make more money so that my bills don't stack up. I am really making strides for us to become self sufficient and not have to work for dudes anymore. I am expanding the shop. I am taking classes, reading books, broadening my horizons and working my ass off. Literally. It's disappearing right before my eyes, thank you suspended drivers license. I ride my bike 10 miles a day, I walk our dogs, I make lunch for my boyfriend everyday so he can take it to work and not have to buy junk. I feel like everything is falling into place, but God damn, the other stuff is scary.

The what-ifs to making great changes in life are looming over head and I can't shake them. Waking up at 6am and drinking coffee and watching the news and then sitting down and taking time to develop our business, create, make strides. It's incredible. I want to be successful. I want to support our family and facilitate the living of a really magical life. I don't want to clock in-clock out anymore. I don't want to be treated like a servant. I want to be the boss. It's not a lot to ask, but it's a lot of work and I'm excited to move forward.

By the way, I don't know if I am just a senior citizen or what, but I can't figure out how to use skype. I was supposed to be having a meeting right now, but couldn't get it to work properly. It just kept saying "call failed." It's pretty hilarious. But I finally got it and it was fun for a minute. I want to try it again.

SO, hopefully, weather permitting, we will head to National City tomorrow and shoot a new video for the blog all about flea-marketing. It'll be lots of fun!

xo,

Beca

ps

Those of you have sent me your address for the friendship bow, I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to get it out to you, it has been a mad house, but be on the look out soon!!!