Death of a Card Reader & I need your Help!

We went to the beach yesterday with Charlie. It was pretty fun, and so nice outside. Doug took this photo on his new camera, that he loves. Today after work, I wanted to take photos of my new dress that took a ridiculously long time to get to me, and then sat on my porch for two days (oops) and I am just now wearing. BUT, I was scanning photos, and looked over at the coffee table and noticed that an entire bottle of glue had spilled (thanks, dogs) and was creeping like lava onto EVERYTHING, including our card reader for the camera. Sooo, I can't upload any photos and honestly, that's okay, because I am not really feeling into photos of myself right now.

I know, I know, I have said it 100 times, but I really really want to lose weight. This is the most I have weighed in a loooong time and now that summer is rolling around, I can't really hide it anymore. I normally rock jeans or cut off shorts, a black teeshirt and a hoodie or sweater. That's my all time favorite outfit, and has been since I was an early teen. It hides the weight pretty well, except that my weight fluctuates a lot and lately it's been leaning to the heavy side. So now, clothes that fit me well a month ago, are not fitting as well. I know this is so sporadic and random, but so is my weight.

I don't know what to do. I ride my bike to work 3-4 times a week, I can't stick to a diet, I have a serious caffeine addiction and I am totally broke, so can't afford to take classes or sign up for weight watchers (which would be a total waste of money anyways.) PLEASE HELP! What has worked for you? What kind of foods do you eat that fill you up but don't taste gross. I am eternally picky, but in a weird, 5th grade boy kind of way. Like I could eat junk food for the rest of my life, if it wouldn't kill me. Give me a bag of doritos, a 12 pack of coke, pepperoni pizza, mac&cheese, french fries and a soft pretzel, and I'll still be hungry for more. My metabolism, however, is that of an old tabby, and I will keep every single one of those calories all for myself. Greedy greedy.

I also have a pilates dvd and ride my bike often, but those don't seem to be helping. I mean, i guess if I did them more....but I'm pretty sure I can at least start this battle with food and moderate exercise?? I'm not going to lie, the last time I lost weight and was down to 135 pounds, I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, riding my bike obsessively, eating a lot of pizza and only sleeping a few hours a night. Insomnia + hipster track bike + chain smoking - pizza = grossly skinny for my 5foot8 broad stature. I don't want to do that again. I just want to feel better about myself.

Please, if you have a second, tell me what you do to stay healthy and maybe it will give me some ides. I stopped drinking soda, and I don't even crave it. One cup of coffee in the morning, and thats it, water for the rest of the day. I'm not eating junk right now either but that's harder. Ugh. I'm so frustrated!

That's all for now. Thanks, in advance.

xo,

Bec