I have a lot to say, and I'm not scared anymore. I'm not scared of a grade. Grade me, please, give me an F and I'll say thanks and keep penning. I have no interest in censoring my thoughts, I am not trying to impress anyone. I have an incredible partner who listens and reads me, I have incredible friends who aren't concerned with what I scribble down to myself. I have met some really awesome people through blogging and starting our shop online. I am not concerned with what anyone thinks anymore. Is this growing up, or what? I don't know. I can't answer that, but I do know, I missed writing. Sometimes I go back, to the little journals I have kept over the past 5 years and I like to find the bits and pieces. I found a little, barley legible note I wrote to myself after I met the love of my life. It was the smallest of fortunes, the truest of words and I cherish it. I wish that I would have not deleted my old old old live journals from years and years ago (what, 12 years ago now...) because it would have been fun to go back and read them. Once in a moment of clarity, I trashed a bunch of journals full of fake truths. I don't regret it.
So here I find myself, at 8 in the morning. It's pouring rain and the dogs are restless. I'm thinking about promises.
I promise to make a 5 year plan. I'm too smart and over qualified to be making White Russians and strawberry milkshakes for very much longer.
I promise to save more money and pay our bills on time and not let the stresses of being this broke overwhelm me.
I promise to write more. I promise.
A little something that makes me happy to end with.
(I don't remember where this came from, sorry)
xo,
Bec
"...and not let the stresses of being this broke overwhelm me."
ReplyDeleteIt's a daily struggle, isn't it?
XO
Carly
All this is Grace and Charm
http://allthisgraceandcharm.blogspot.com
i'm with you on the five year plan. tired of working for other people!! (even if they're really awesome people..)
ReplyDeleteit's funny though your promises about bills... last week i was telling andrew how i would pay less attention to the bills - we don't always have enough money to pay them on time but they've never shut us off or anything - yeah they just keep racking up but it's less stressful to pay them when i have money rather than cry when i can't pay them.
I've never been able to pay bills on time. It's like a disease, or something. I just can't but I am going to try harder...
ReplyDeleteAnd part of my five year plan is to stop working for other people. That's a big one.